Back and Forth

As I left, I couldn’t stop wondering what he wanted to say to me. The whole ten-minute walk back I kept thinking on that short conversation. Was he going to say he changed his mind? Or did he just want to make sure that he had not hurt my feelings? I kept going back and forth. I was seriously regretting not staying and having that discussion with him.

At the Pier Bar that night, my mood was mixed. I shared what had happened and we all tried to keep positive. But I was not the best company that night. I kept going over what he said and trying to see if I had somehow missed something. I stubbornly stayed several hours at the Pier Bar with John and Beckee, determined to have fun and not think about Nate. Poor them—I’m sure they were tired of me asking them if what Nate said could’ve meant this or that.

That night, I came home more confused than ever. I finally resolved, with prayer, to leave it in God’s hands. Surely, HE knew my heart’s desires and I could trust Him to take care of this when I couldn’t myself. With that resolve, I went to bed.

Awakened

The next morning, I was woken up by a call from Nate. He had some things to do at church and asked if I’d like to help him and keep him company at the same time. Help at church…hmmm…that didn’t sound too romantic or promising but he wanted to spend time with me. That must mean something no? Was this God’s answer?

At church, we spent a companionable time together as he worked on preparing some slides and filing others. For some reason, I was quite relaxed and it wasn’t too weird, even though we didn’t really talk about the past few days. After Nate was done, we walked over to the McDonald’s across the street and once we sat down with our food, he started talking.

And talking. Nate isn’t usually much of a talker. I’m normally the one who is chatty. But that day, he did most of the talking. He explained how he had changed his mind. That he was afraid of losing me as his friend but that it was crazy not to give it a shot when we had so much in common. I think his friend Truman had encouraged him that this could work. And later, I also found out that my pastor’s wife, had also played an instrumental part (but I’ll let Nate tell his story, if he does tell his story) in his change of heart.

Is This a Dream?

I don’t recall everything he said, but he ended up talking about some episode on Star Trek (yeah, he’s such a Trekkie that he can somehow tie our relationship to Star Trek!). Don’t ask me what that was about.

I do know that I was a little dazed after that conversation. All the ups and downs had numbed me a little I guess. I just kept thinking, we’re really going to try this. I wasn’t sure if I was dreaming or if it was really happening.

Then, as we walked out of McDonald’s, he reached out to take my hand. Awkward? I must confess, it was. But, it was also a physical truth. We were taking that risk of a relationship. We had been friends, and now we were going to be more than friends.

Well, that was 1997. This year, just last week, Nate and I celebrated 10 years of being married. He still is my friend, the one I can turn to when I need to vent or when I need a shoulder to cry on. He still makes me laugh. He and I still share similar interests. He’s still kinda cute (even if we’re both gaining weight and losing hair). And more than that, he still makes my heart skip a beat when I see him walking towards me.

Friendship can lead to romance. I’m glad I can attest to that. I don’t think it, I know it. Nate—my friend and lover. Forever.

Cheers, Annie

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